about those pictures...

apparently the us dvd is just that: a dvd. resplendent with the sound of mouse clicks and "look, here's the baby's kidneys! and bladder! and arteries!" which i'm sure no one but myself and my hubs (and perhaps our parents? siblings?) would find relatively interesting. the dvd will definitely go into the vault of "NEVER RECORD OVER THIS OR ELSE" home movies and what have you. maybe someday even baby h will watch his in-utero amniotic aerobics in as much awe and wonder and pride as his mommy and daddy watched it yesterday.
the pictures contained...
four chambers of his little beating, pumping heart
three big yawns, showcasing one large lumpy tongue, and a smile - melt my heart
one fully-closed and tapered spinal column, meaning no spina bifida
one bloated-looking belly - who knew baby h is part ethiopian?
two solidly-constructed froggy legs - extended then drawn in then extended then drawn in
two pterodactyl arms
a negative-space baby face - lips and nose in their proper place, meaning no cleft palate
the "third leg" as mor referred to it
all his ribs dangling off his perfectly curved backbone
and one hang-ten sign - i promise you

oh whoa halfway there-ere!

20wks 3ds, kids. exciting stuff. and, not that we were concerned (i totally trust dr evans at my office) but baby h is for sure and no lie a boy. we have the pictures and us dvd (wha?!) to prove it. now, as soon as i find out (read: have mor do it for me), i will upload the proof. the funniest thing about my visit today was when the us tech showed us baby h's...um...well...boy parts; she said that she's had requests to type on the picture "junk" and "weiner" and "jim and the twins" when it's shown to be a little boy. people are weird. i told her "it's a boy" would be just fine to put on baby h's first AND ONLY porno shot.

let it snow (& stuff)

it finally FINALLY snowed today! HAllelujah! it was the first day that i haven't had to be up before 8a that i actually slept later than 9a. (got that?) usually, the sun comes peeking through the drapes in our bedroom around 7:30a or so; this morning, it was dark and gloomy and grey until, well, all day long. but IT SNOWED! glorious, white, sticky SNOW! it's about darn time. i've been so tired of it being cold and windy and blah. especially now that christmas is less than two weeks away (really?), which means home and my mama and my new nephew are just over a week away. yipee! and hurrah! and yea for SNOW!!!
in baby news: our kid has been kicking my insides all week long. his little legs are so strong, i'm sure he's turning my insides to mush. and i love it. at least until it starts happening at night, all night. or so i'm told.
and continuing on with the baby stuff...i found this on ebay, and i want one. not necessarily that specific one, but one like it. or something like it. and i'm at a loss of what kind of stroller and car seat is better: graco or chicco? (i would love to have an orbit because i love the buggy-style, but i doubt anyone wants to dole out $1000 for a seat and stroller that would be used for maybe MAYBE 6mo. i know we sure don't want to/aren't going to.) anyway, at this point, any help on what we NEED would be welcomed.
now excuse me while i go enjoy the nighttime snow show and some mr monk.

happy happy birthday, big sis

i know it was yesterday, but remember how the mac and i don't always get along? yeah. so i'm saying this now.
happy birthday, e!
i love you for being the one i can always talk to and laugh with, no matter what.

it isn't gas

like seriously people, don't you think i know the difference between my own kid kicking my kidneys and a bit of indigestion? how horrible of a mother do you think i am?
in other news: congrats to this girl and this girl for incubating a boy and a girl, respectively.

thankful

i'm lounging here on my big comfy couch with my stinky little puppy nestled at my feet and my wonderful husband next to me, my tummy full of turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy and stuffing and corn and apple pie crusts (i pass on the actual filling), my belly full of baby, and my heart full of thanks for...
family - my mom and dad, sisters and brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, all the hawleys-in-law, and my second sets of in-laws (being the walls and slopsemas)
friends - schizz, kal, trish, ash, kerrie anne, the singers, richard wood (and fiancee!), mike lau (and wife!), duford, the dane and danen (to name just a few)
my home
my job (and time off)
good books
warm hugs
sloppy sweet baby kisses (thanks, add and sam and gavin; you are all great surrogates)
roaring fires
delicious gingersnaps (a little more soft than snappy)
baby bumps and baby boys
the gospel, my faith, my savior
and that's just what my tryptophan-ified mind is capable of coming up with right now.
i hope your thanksgiving was as low-key and low-carb (ha!) as mine.

worser than the worst

(is there a word for that? for being even more horrible than the worst? worser works for me.) i am talking about the new "improved" flavor of pepto: cherry. blech! i really do wish there is a way to improve upon something that tastes like bubble gummy chalk that can be used to soothe an achy tummy. trust me, i've had more than my fair share of achy tummy times and nothing doesn't do the trick like "trusty" pepto. mostly because simply the THOUGHT of the flavor alone makes me want to hurl, let alone the actual taste. urgh...i just threw up a little bit in my mouth. so now there's cherry flavored bubble gummy chalk to ease my tummy troubles? a big NO THANK YOU. i'd rather munch on my own vomit than attempt downing even a thimble-full of cherry pepto. back to the old grindstone, pepto makers. sucks for you.
and for all of us tummyache sufferers.
ugh.
and blech.

snakes and snails and puppy dog tails

do you remember a couple weeks ago when the drs at my office wanted to see what our baby is but didn't have the right us wand? yeah, remember that? well, they found the right wand today. and guess what...
IT'S A BOY!!!
yea and hooray for little boys!
now, let's get shopping!

16 down, 24 to go

not to trump the cuteness of my new nephew (see above), but this is a big day for the three of us: we're almost halfway there! two weeks closer to finding out if we need to shop for blue or purple; i'm anti-pink right now. two weeks closer to may 09. two weeks closer to no more 1am/3am/6am trips to the loo. two weeks closer to a bebe, OUR bebe.
now, scroll up and enjoy the cuteness.

i love him

and that's all i have to say about that

thank heaven for little boys

e and matty welcomed baby #4 today, their third little boy. all 7lbs 4oz of him. i cried last night after getting off the phone with her, so excited for a new nephew and so homesick for my entire family. we both want to be there to smooch his bruised little blue-eyed face and smooth his blonde curly hair and smell that wonderful new-baby smell. i'm wishing away the next six weeks so we can do just that: smooch and schmuggle and sniff.
welcome to the family, grady. your uncle mor and aunt v cannot wait to meet you!
see here for pictures

5 fingers!

now that i'm officially in the "what are you having" phase (aka 2nd trimester) of this old show, the drs at my office decided to do an ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. i don't work in an obgyn office, so the us machine in our place is mainly used to diagnose hematomas and just-under-the-skin sorts of things; not really for rendering a verdict on boy v girl since your uterus is like all the way to china deep in your body. the higher the frequency was set, the smaller and smaller the viewfield became, thus making it impossible to see any of our bebe...EXCEPT his/her left hand! i know, i know, you've never heard more exciting news. who cares that we (read: those who actually voted, not including m'self) just elected the first black president? our wee one has all his/her fingers!!! at least on the left hand anyway. you'd think we haven't had an us yet with how excited i got over these little moving phalanges: wrong; complicatons and whatnot at the beginning made for 2 us in less than 3 days. i just hadn't seen any part of the baby so magnified that you could really tell what it was. and they were moving! his/her fingers were moving, bending, flexing. it was...amazing.

w

the colts needed this w. we, the fans, needed this w. i've been waiting and wishing and hoping this day would come. thank you, horse, for finally delivering.
in other football news, herm edwards is a moron. going for the win with a (failed) 2pt conversion instead of for the tie and overtime in an on-the-road conference game...bad call. i'll console you, tony g. come cry on my shoulder.
in STILL other football news, i absolutely hate when that one guy from special teams (be it punt return, field goal, kickoff) stays on the field well after the play is dead because he knows he won't be getting back out on the field anytime soon. get to the sideline, chachi. and don't you dare jump around in celebration on your way there. just get. off. the. field.
in unrelated news, buying things for an as-of-now ambiguously-sexed baby is hard. i don't want our kid wearing green and yellow until their first birthday. so, how soon can we find out if it's a boy or girl again? and please don't say 20wks. i might cry.
tony g, will YOU console ME if that happens?

14 down, 26 to go

if i'd known how sick and uncomfortable i was going to be throughout this whole thing, i don't know if i would have signed up for the ride. okay, that's not true. i don't think anyone really understands what the phrase "i'm pregnant" really entails until THEY are the ones saying it. i always thought of cute chubby babies you get to schmuggle all day and night, the new baby smell that comes built-in with each and every little one, diapers and bottles and blankies and binkies; i never thought of the hours i'd spend hunched over the toilet (at home, at work, at cafe rio), the back pains that began before the belly was showing, the maternity leave i'd have to arrange in order to get paid and not lose my job. i know all the things i used to think still apply (i'm especially hopeful of the cute chubby baby part), but i know now that without all the others, the end result wouldn't be as amazing.
so, keep your fingers crossed for us that come may 09, we'll have one of those delicious smelling cute chubby babies of our own.

is it bedtime yet?

ever since daylight savings kicked in (all of yesterday), i feel like i should be heading to bed at 6p. probably because it has been raining, nay storming since saturday night thus making it dark outside from about 4p until about noon. that leaves approximately 4hrs of daylight. do you see why i'm throwing on my jimjams and having mor tuck me in before 8p? don't get me wrong, i in no way dislike or wish the rain and wintry weather away; i'm merely saying that it's hard enough to get up for work without having to convince myself that my alarm clock isn't five hours fast.

happy birthday, little monkey

a day late, a few dollars short (your birthday gift is on its way with gma connie though)...what's an aunt and uncle to say? we wish we were there to smooch your adorable excema-ed face and squeeze your skinny little 2yr old body. know that we love love LOVE you more than any other newly 2yr old, becks!

the next time you're in omaha...

...please stop by dixie quicks and eat everything on the menu for me since i'll most likely never get to omaha (or nebraska in general for that matter) myself. and remember, if you're not paying enough attention, you'll drive right by it without blinking an eye. you see, it's on the main drag into the "big city," but there is no sign outside to announce you're there.
what would i do without guy showing me the best places to eat in some of the most obscure locations? oh "triple d," i heart you!

and not that i need to explain my lack of blogging to you, but the mac has not been too friendly the last few weeks. losing it's mind (aka hard drive) has put it on the ir for a while now. no estimated date of full recovery; how can one estimate a full recovery when a complete lobotomy has been performed? (thanks for the quick-fix repair, mac genius. oh and also thanks for the heat-warped corner you swear was there when we dropped the mac off to you. adds character, don't you know, while impeding the mac's recharging ability.) now, does anyone have an extra $1700 tucked away for our rainy day so we can retrieve our wedding pictures? no? no one? selfish bastards, all of you.

i heart...

1. rey maualuga
2. the fall (minus the snowstorms; why does that only happen in utah?)
3. the end-of-year holidays
4. the smell of spiced pumpkin home oil
5. decorating our home for the holidays
6. treats from porto's bakery (la is good for more than cute greaser/surfer boys to marry and call your own) courtesy of good in-laws
7. snuggling up with a fire in the fireplace, football on the flat screen, hot chocolate in my hand, cute greaser/surfer boy-turned-husband by my side
8. the color orange
9. wool socks
10. a puppy who loves the disney channel, snow, cheerios and her owners
not necessarily in that order

she's alive!

yeah yeah, i get it. i haven't posted in like, well, two weeks--sue me--so this is a little posty just for you, big sis, to prove i'm still alive and kickin'. (even though i talked to you like once today and twice yesterday. i digress...)
all i really want to say, before returning you to your regularly scheduled program, is this:
ARE YOU WATCHING THIS? ARE YOU WATCHING SC LOSE (so far, still 2nd quarter) TO UNRANKED CORVALLIS-BASED OREGON STATE? ARE YOU? BECAUSE IF YOU ARE NOT, AND YOU ARE INSTEAD READING THIS LAME EXCUSE FOR A BLOG POST, PUT DOWN THE LAPPY AND GO WATCH YOU SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED SC BUTT KICKING. IT'S MAKING MY DAY; ANYTIME AN UNDERDOG AND SO-CALLED "GIANT KILLER" IS ROUTING THE TOP-RANKED TROJANS, I'M A HAPPY GIRL. EVEN IF IT MEANS MY HUBS RUNS OFF WITH HIS HANDS OVER HIS HEAD SCREAMING "NO, I'M NOT CRYING! SHUT-UP! I HATE YOU, OREGON STATE! YOU STUPID BEAVERS! I! HATE! YOU!"
it's okay, i will console him later. the trojans didn't mean to break your heart tonight (even if for just those brief two quarters (maybe more?!)). they apologized via sanchez using the f-word and leaving the field with their heads making sure their feet didn't trip up the way they did those first two quarters. they promised to make it up to you and pummel oregon next week at home, in your hometown coliseum. please accept their apologies. now, will you pleasey please dry those tears and take me to bed? i'm all tuckered out after cheering so ecstatically for those stupid beavers.

show pitch

mor and i have decided spencer "the pratt" pratt should star in his own tv show. we also have decided it should be called "guess how many people i can alienate in 30min or less."

even barney hates this tool. see how he's trying to push the homo away?
do you think mtv would go for it? pick it up as a fall option? maybe? a girl can dream...
did anyone watch this week's episode of "the hills"? seriously, heidi, you got mad at your sister because your worthless fiancee/boyfriend/gay roommate kicked her out of your apt and she didn't wait around to talk to you about it? that's like the women who get more upset with the woman their man is cheating with than their man who is doing the cheating. "the hills" are alive with the sound of stupid. and i love it!

ps don't worry: brody and doug DID get out of jail finally. phew! that was a close one. you know how those casino jails can be. ("21" anyone? getting roughed up by scary samuel l? yeah. you know what i'm talking about.)

color of the day: teal

or seafoam. or any color in the minty-greenish blue family. i was stuck behind (1) a two-door teal (with hot pink accents) tracker with one of the oldest men i've ever seen (alive) behind the wheel, going 25mph down a 35mph street; (2) a seafoamy chevy s10 lowrider going 30mph on a 45mph street; and (3) a brown neon (oh the irony) with full bodykit and grapefruit shooter, who just could NOT turn right on red. against his religion or something like that. it was quite the drive home, if you didn't pick that up.
moral of the story: by the time i got home, the only color i was seeing was red.

this is nothing against the green bullet, dr wall, may she rest in peace.

"it's nudey town"

who doesn't love mr monk?! oh, YOU don't love mr monk? well, who asked YOU anyway? and furthermore, how can you NOT love a man who uses phrases like "that's enough to make me LOL...out loud" and "it's nudey town"???
if you hadn't guessed what i'm up to this torrentially rainy labor day, now you don't have to. "monk" marathon. god bless the usa (network).

my biggest sis

HAPPY 31st, MAY!!!

we love you and your adorable little (but getting so big) family! wish we were there, more than you know. have your kids give you smooches from me and mor. and i promise, your card IS in the mail; this way you can extend the celebration until it shows up.

3-part post

part 1
imagine my surprise when, upon my return home from lunch with mor, i peeked inside our mailbox and saw, not one but, TWO envelopes from home. lovingly addressed to me and mine from my sisters and theirs. pictures and a "thank you for the judy blume books" from the greensburg sis and fam; pictures and a book from the indy sis and fam. i'm such a lucky little sister! my two sisters, who don't HAVE to, but CHOOSE to be my best friends. lucky, i guess, doesn't even begin to cover it. i love you two! and thank you for the pictures to adorn our humble abode and my small workspace.

part 2
an homage to our beloved little fluffbucket, penelope jones, who, without much fanfare, turned 2 on thursday...

part 3

to go along with part 1, i just witnessed one of the most loving sisterly acts. driving to grab my dinner from thai ruby (two thumbs down), i remembered something i read earlier today over here. i made a quick jog right, off 9th, up to kiwanis. i scanned the grounds for any signs of the event, overlooking the couple getting a little too frisky for a public park, and found the group of nienie well-wishers over by the hill. this was the scene that filled my eyes with tears of gratitude for sisters (and hope-havers) worldwide...


just, um, disregard the powerline

the balloons--every single one of them, and there are a LOT of them--have a wish, prayer, thought, small note, anything attached to them in tribute to nienie and her husband's recovery. as the tears spilled onto my sunburned cheeks and blurred my camera viewfinder, i had never been more grateful for a sister's love.

i heart bob costas

you know, there are only a very few of the olympic commentators i really appreciate. bob, obviously, is number 1 in my book. i've liked bob ever since i first set ears on him oh-so-many years ago. he asks informed questions, shows sincere interest in the subject--person or event--at hand and highlights the silver lining; maybe you didn't win the gold, but after talking to bob, you may as well have because he made you feel like you did.
i've even enjoyed chris collinsworth. how could you not enjoy a retired footballer, who now spends all of his free time hanging out with the golden athletes (and their mothers; did anyone see him with debbie phelps? loved it) and doing those "this is where they came from" stories that make you wonder why you didn't grow up in the east la ghetto slums with a single mother and nothing to eat at night but the food you stole from school because if you had, you'd have gold around your neck now too. he gets into any olympic venue--watercube, birds nest, chaoyang park--for any olympic event--swimming, volleyball, gold medal matches--with what he calls "the million dollar ticket." it's good to be chris collinsworth.
that being said, i absolutely loathe and want to kick in the teeth the following two reporters: andrea kremer ("jason lezak, you just swam your team to a gold medal over the frogs...what are your thoughts on michael phelps winning eight golds here in beijing?!" ) and bob newmeyer (allow me to get in your face with poor-taste questions right after the first time you've ever lost "your" race). monkeys could conduct better interviews than these two.
my advice to nbc: keep costas and collinsworth, kick kremer and newmeyer.
next order of business...
list of official olympic sports:
archery*
badminton*
baseball
basketball
boxing*
canoeing*
cycling
diving*
equestrian*
fencing*
field hockey
football (aka soccer)
gymnastics*
handball*
judo*
modern pentathalon
rowing
sailing*
shooting*
softball
swimming
synchronized swimming*
table tennis*
taekwondo*
tennis
triathalon
volleyball
water polo
weightlifting*
wrestling*

*these. are. not. sports. past times at best. i mean, if badminton and table tennis are considered olympic sports, can ultimate frisbee be too far behind? or better yet, shuffleboard or horseshoes? and what about archery, sailing, shooting or weightlifting is athletic? nothing. and the only thing athletic about equestrian are the horses, so give those mares a medal. also, did you notice that most of the scoring in these sports comes from a panel of judges, who haven't necessarily participated in these sports? sports, REAL sports, are not scored subjectively. amen.

question of the day #6

Q : what am i going to watch now that men's swimming is over?

A : men's trampoline that we dvr-ed, der. or tomita's perfect 10 fall from the rings, also dvr-ed and some of the most hilarious tv i've ever seen. (if i could find a video of it, you know i'd post it; but google is not my friend at the moment.)

8 is gr8

was anyone surprised by the men's 4x100 im relay results? didn't think so. we americans ARE pretty amazing. however, i was a bit confused when piersol (was it piersol or hansen?) said that the phelpsian feat was even more impressive than 7 tour de france wins. um, not quite. and not to discredit phelps in any way (i DO love him more than any other olympian), but 7 straight years of 21 days covering 2235 miles (many of them mountainous) with nothing between you and the asphalt but a 15lbs piece of carbon is nearly impossible to overtake as "the greatest athletic event in history." i just simply cannot believe anyone will be able to duplicate EITHER performance in the near or distant future. way to go, america!

thank you, si, for allowing me to borrow your vault issue cover of phelps AND armstrong. i love you, si! (even if you did sever ties with my man rick reilly and steve russon. i miss those guys.)

yumilka ruiz and the 2008 olympics

i wish i was rad enough to wear a wristband as a hair thing...

...and also to pull off the name yumilka. um, yumilka cow? goat? mr focker? what yumilka, yumilka?
too bad cuba kicked our bumolies the other night. but, i think the event* that preceded this...

hellO, adonis! and don't worry weird little black man in the blue blazer; i totally would have been checking out the goods too.
...more than made up for any and all subpar performances the americans could hand in.
please accept my apologies in advance as most, if not all, of the next 2wks postings will be about the olympics. get in the spirit, partypoopers. or don't check back until the beginning of september.

*to watch the video, click here

celebrate good times

true story, mor and i have been married two whole years as of today. craziness. to celebrate we got all gussied up (which means a shower and minimal eye makeup for moi and a semi-clean i-swear-i-didn't-get-this-out-of-the-dirty-clothes-hamper outfit for mor) and headed out to dinner and a movie. dinner consensus: tepanyaki = delicious and yummm; movie consensus: "pineapple express" = swearing + pot smoking + gun fights and not my cup o' tea. so, in order to even things out movie-wise, mor took me to the "traveling pants 2" matinee this afternoon. (don't judge us for sleeping in and going to a movie on our anniversary. anniversaries and birthdays are like days on vacation: doesn't matter if it's "monday, tuesday, thursday"* or sunday, you just get to relax and enjoy yourselves.) we've settled ourselves in to watch more olympics (can one ever get enough of the world's greatest athletes competing against each other? i. think. not.) and schmuggle with our little penelope. (did you know she has a birthday coming up on 21 august? she enjoys 5star dog food, doggy-breath breath mints and new collars--hint hint.)
now, if you will excuse me, more michael phelps and other nameless men in spandex await.

*quote is from which movie? get it right, and i'll give you a cookie.

080808

oh my giddy-goodness! are you WATCHING this?!?! i've never been flabbergasted before. i am. right now. flabbergasted. utterly amazed at what i'm seeing. way to go, china. way. to. go.
now why don't you go spend some of that $300million budget on your 1.3billion people who live off $2/day?

miss em turns 5

today is my first niece's fifth birthday (did you follow that?)! can you believe that?! emerson is so excited to start kindergarten in a few short weeks; she got in on what i like to refer to as "early admission," like when those really super extra smarty-pant kids get into harvard before harvard is really actually accepting new students. that's right, she's a brainiac. and that's only one reason why i love this little girl--excuse me--BIG girl so so much. (she also loves to read like i do and has the squinty eyes like me too.) so, without further adieu...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EM! WE LOVE YOU!!!

yeah yeah maybe this is last year's birthday picture, but she's just as cute (and tan and blonde) today as she was then.

inspired

stephenie meyer, author of the acclaimed twilight series, has given me inspiration. our first child will be named after both grandmothers; she will be called connoria. or maybe possibly glornnie. (we're still deliberating which would bring the child the most schoolyard torture. mor's leaning towards connoria because it rhymes with this word. eww. don't need people thinking we'd named our offspring after an infectious disease, now do we?)
like, seriously, stephenie meyer? you couldn't come up with any more clever, less stupid name? renesmee? i'm ashamed of you. embarrassed even. renesmee? i will never think of you the same way again. you should have just named the poor creature myparentshateme. that would have been more justifiable than renesmee. (let's face it, ANYTHING would have been more justifiable than renesmee. like connoria, for example.)

ps i just started the highly-anticipated breaking dawn last night, have read through to page 477 (sorry to ruin it for you that bella has a vampire baby girl, get over it) and am still wondering "when's it get good?" that's the only thing keeping me going at this point. that and i have never been one to put down any book--textbooks excepted--until the last page was read. oh how i regret the love of reading my mother instilled in me. well, at least where this book is concerned. only 250+ pages to go.

pps recent reads i WOULD recommend include
the little lady agency by hester browne
stop in the name of pants! by louise rennison
hattie big sky by kirby larson
penny from heaven by jennifer holm

today's endeavor

i'll be busy today, trying to occupy my all-aloney-on-my-owney time, with this little project:

and allow me to provide the link: http://www.spoolsewing.com/blog/2008/05/16/bird-mobile/
just clickety-click-clack on the "bird pattern" in the left tool bar labeled "free patterns." handy, huh?
now if i could only figure out how far apart to space those darn straight stitches...

the redcoats are coming! the redcoats are coming!

but by "the redcoats" i actually mean my mom and john. so...
MY MOM AND JOHN are coming! MY MOM AND JOHN are coming!
they're supposed to arrive in town this evening after a long, hot, sweaty, exhilarating harley ride out here. time number two for these folks making the cross-country trip. this time, with the specific intentions of hanging out with me and mine (ie hubs). for FIVE ENTIRE DAYS! WAHOO!!!
now, if you'll excuse-moi (a la yvette in "clue"--i LOVE that movie) i am in the midst of a cleaning rampage. and don't you just know, penny is trying her darnedest to help; i mean, she is licking up every last speck of dust and chewing up every last what-did-that-belong-to? piece of plastic. she's helping so much i'm going to give her a really truly edible treat--a puppy-breath breath mint--and throw her in jail (ie her kennel).
oh and did i mention...
MY MOM AND JOHN are coming!!! MY MOM AND JOHN are coming!!!

question of the day #5

is this not the cutest little murph you've ever seen?!

*picture kiped from my big sister's bloggeroo
*expand picture to get better view

numerology

things we saw while driving and going about our other daily bidnesses:
0 cancun grilled shrimp tacos with mango salsa mor was able to get from steven wood's gay mexican lookalike at rio (he made up for it by the tres leches cake--blech--he ordered and ate in two bites)
0 other white people--out of the 13 in line--at t-t-t-tj maxx
1 electric blue dodge neon with the license plate "b funk"
2 girls with matching haircuts, bleach blonde sporty euro mullets (something similar to this guy's 'do at the moment, and yes i actually do like it. a. lot.)

3 dykes on bikes (or honda ruckus scooters, whatever)
27 things the lady in front of us at target put down on the "10 items or less" checkout
52 "realistic" bronze animal statues, like a 4ft tall giraffe and 6ft tall eagle on a globe

4kazillion ants mor killed with outdoor raid (these are the same ants i have doused with bleach and windex and pledge; they keep coming back for more. not this time, suckas!)

...our little painy lady

she turned 4 today! i remember the day she was born. e and matty went to the dr in the morning to see how the baby was doing; she had stopped growing in-utero and the dr decided to induce early. so, after stopping by the then-open sonic in indy and returing home to grab the hospital overnight bag, e and matty were on their way to have a baby. i got to stay home with coopy and snuggle him to my heart's content, which was practically all day long. mom came down and may headed over with miss em. we took turns at the hospital and home. i switched off with jason that night and sped to the hospital. i was so upset when i got there because, as i opened the door, i saw a very teeny tiny little pink baby all swaddled up. what the...?! erica had her even before i left their house, but everyone had decided not to tell me because they didn't want me driving erratically. little did they know, that's exactly how i drove thinking she hadn't been born yet. e and matty shooed mom and may out of the room when i got there. they were still on the fence about names--alexandra or ainsley--and they were letting me help them choose. i was getting to name a baby that wasn't mine. how cool is that?! we concluded she was much more an ainsley than an alexandra, and that was that. so there she was, ainsley ellisen wall. my third niece/nephew in less than 15months, second niece in less than a year. (coop came in april 03; em in august 03; ains in july 04.) i couldn't love any newly-turned 4yr old any better than i love my little painy lady!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAINER!!!

please excuse the picture of a picture. this one is just too cute to not put up.

happy days

our 4th of july started too early for our own good; people were allowed to set up shop in front of our house beginning at 5am. 5am! ridiculous. we finally pulled ourselves out of bed around 7:15a. olea and adam rang, said they were circling the block for a place to park. rachelle and ashley popped by a little after that, bearing patriotic treats from the bakery. as mor says, "nothing says 'i love america' like red, white and blue iced sugar cookies." the singers weren't far behind, taking the majority of their 5min drive over in search of, you guessed it, a place to park. we brought the dining room chairs out to the porch and began enjoying the festivities and treats. chocolate chip pancakes, sausage and bacon, quiche a la debbie and dave (the neighbors downstairs), lots of sugary juice, strawberries, piña coladas of the virgin persuasion, puppy chow/monkey munch/muddy buddies. in the words of rachael ray, "yumO!" we indulged our sweet tooth and ooh-ed and aah-ed at all the spectacular floats and mini horses and star wars characters. i mean really, what 4th of july parade is complete without mini horses and luke skywalker? exactly. my favorite parts of the parade were the balloons: curious george who was curiously missing his pantaloons, underdog who was resplendent with his unmistakable U ring and babar who...well...um...not sure what french babar was doing in our american parade. anyone? no? no one? moving on then...we retired inside after the parade to watch some "conchords" with the mills and singers. always a good time with jemaine and brett. then mor and i took in a show, "kung fu panda," and just chillaxed at home with the swamp on full-blast.
saturday brought us pm singer's 25th birthday, dinner at happy sumo, a show by monkey grinder and two new radical recliners. la-z-boys to be precise. i haggled duane down from $300 apiece to $480 for two. yeah, i'm that good. actually i just had mor bat his pretty lashes and duane was a goner. as were the ladies at the cashiers' desk. they couldn't get enough of them; it's so unfair that the boys always get the eyelashes, make sure when we procreate that our girls get my eyes with mor's lashes (because we have control over that, of course), does mor have trouble finding sunglasses yadda yadda yadda. by the time we were able to walk away from the cashier ladies, we were starving. haggling (moi) and accepting compliments (mor) has a way of working up appetites. phil and jen helped us home with our new purchases and then on we went to happy sumo. i told mor as we were leaving i felt like we should be getting a happy ending massage with all the dim lights and dark sheer curtains at each booth and scantily clad waitresses. we perused borders for a few before returning a la nuestro casa. we got back just in time to meet rich wood and venture down to the freedom festival for monkey grinder. visit them here.

the new setup. on the right side of the front door. they will be moved during football season. we will not be having people over from august-february. unless they don't mind copping a squat on the floor.

no, that is not a trashbag hanging on the front door. okay. maybe it is.

not flattering mugshots. the only person i know as hairy as mor is richard. no wonder they're such good friends. they can give each other chest shaving hints and how-tos.

the singers and yours truly. let me catch the flash for you two. there we go.
and i cannot possibly forget to mention...

question of the day #4

Q : how many 5yr olds can i take in a fight?
A : this many...
20
OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

booyakasha!

ketchup

seeing as how the last time i posted on here was like, um, roughly 4yrs ago, i thought i'd take time out of my busy shhhedule to update. a few momentous occasions have occurred in the last week or so:
1. fathers day - hurrah for dads everywhere!
2. my mum's big 6-0 - hurrah for getting older but never aging!
3. whit's wedding - hurrah for 105degree-outside-no-shade nuptials!
first up, fathers day; what i will forever remember about growing up with big dave as my pops:
-pizza king pizza
-bad perms all around, dave included
-driving golf balls with his good clubs into the backyard field
-getting scared spitless by the panty-hosed-bandits (aka dad and roger lloyd)
-burying our innumerable "pets" in the woods across the street ("pets" meaning any animal that perchance took up residence in our immense backyard)
-the lightning bolt shoes - i think you scarred all of us girls with those sneaks, dad
-crying when minute (our beloved old dog) died after a bad storm
-never missing a big game or school program or anything that was important to us
-goldman's bike shop, frosty's freezer, selma ball diamonds
-never having to fear anything as long as you were around
I LOVE YOU, YOU BIG LUG!
and con's big day:

my sister's get to enjoy everything with my mom, while i have become resigned to hearing all details second-hand. the consolation is knowing they love and miss me just as much as i love and miss them. (mor and i were flying to california for whit's wedding on my mom's birthday, so i called ahead to have flowers ready for erica to pick up and take to the birthday girl. they were well-received, or so i was told.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAMA! WE LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND...
whit and brian's wedding:
really lovely. from what i could see, what with the sweat stinging my eyes. no, really, it was very nice. fred, the bishop who performed the ceremony and is apparently one of southern california's most notorious sweaters, made it short and sweat, i mean sweet. "you do, he does, kiss her and let's get to the punch!" the bride was blushing, the groom was groovy and the guests were gushing. mor got to chat it up with old friends; we got to see all the georgia family; and i got to hang out with one of my favorite little girls, tess. (she really is adorable. she'd be one of your favorites too.) we ate yummy treats, snuck inside to cool off in the ac, discussed our favorite colors--tess likes pink, i like green--and her new shoes, very cute flip flops. the normal chit-chat between gal pals, you know. we gave our kisses and best wishes to the bride and groom, hugged the georgia relatives good-bye and packed up the chairs, dancefloor, lanterns, candles etc etc before calling it a night. as for the rest of the trip, we dined on porto's a few times, shopped downtown pasadena, visited with the cooks and their new addition malia, got our tan on at manhattan beach, ate at tarasco's...everything mor wanted to do, we did and everywhere mor wanted to go, we went. almost. (in and out will have to wait till next time. sorry, hubs. but weren't those porto's potato balls the best things you've ever tasted? yeah, i thought so.)
and of course, through it all, we didn't take any pictures. we suck like that. hopefully everyone else involved in all the festitivies--near and far--will love us enough to send us photographic proof...? please?
pretty please?

week of excitement

the tip-top most excitement i had this week was:
1. finding pants at gap for $7.97
2. buying really really really very cute earrings on etsy.com
3. watching the lakers lose game 4 and
4. having my hubs not complain about taking me (and berardi) to see "sex and the city"
allow me to expound:
1. i never find pants in my size on sale. this is what happens when you and the rest of the gap-shoppng women in america wear the same size. sometimes, it really does suck to be "average." i didn't just find one pair of pants on sale in my size, however; i found--are you ready for this?--FOUR PAIRS OF PANTS ON SALE IN MY SIZE!!! now do you see why that is so exciting? four pairs of nice pants (read: pants i can wear to work as well as to play) all for me and no one else.
2. i have been searching high and low (ie the top and bottom floors of dillard's and nordstrom's) for some cute accessories for whit's wedding. i'm not a big jewelry wearer (see #27 on here), but when your required attire is simply a black dress, you need something to break up the monotony of it. so, i found and bought these...

too cute, huh? well, I like them. hopefully they will get here (all the way from the uk) before we leave next friday. cross your fingers.
3. mor is an avid lakers fan. i hate kobe bryant (as a person, mind; one cannot argue his finesse as a ball player) and turiaf's incessant flailing and flopping. (is anyone else stoked that flopping is now going to be a legitimate foul? the nba is getting there, slowly but surely.) not that i love the celtics, but i pretty much despise the lakers. on principle. but mostly because of turiaf and walton (who, luke if you ever stumble upon this take heed of the next two words, IS WHITE) and if you weren't a lakers fan before their rise with shaq and horry and fisher (pre-jazz) and of course kobe, you're just bandwagon. and if there's one thing i'm not, it's bandwagon.* and
4. berardi is getting ready to leave this great state and head home to the big apple. we wanted to get together with him before he goes; he's been one of my favorites and i'll miss him and his crass vulgarity. we picked him up, went to dinner at magleby's fresh, piddled around riverwoods and headed to the movie. it was SO GOOD! so long (2.5 hours) but so good. there is no way mor would have gone with me to see it, but with berardi on my side, there was no arguing. and mor actually enjoyed it. (not that he would admit that should anyone ask him.) granted, there was a little more boop**-action than i ever need to see in any arena, but hello? the first word in the title is "sex," isn't it? the movie tied everything up nicely from how the series ended. there were some teary moments, some out-loud laughing moments and some sentimental sappy moments. it was good. boops notwithstanding.
in conclusion, go to gap, shop etsy, tune in to see the lakers tank (on sunday) and go see satc. you won't be disappointed.

*or concerned with caloric intake, but that's another story.
**borrowed term from "jon & kate + 8." it's what their little girls call their upper body lady-parts. unoffensive and cute. just like all 42 of their offspring.

the bees are back in town

and by town i mean chimney. i can understand the queen taking offense to our burning alive of her most virile suitors, but give me a break. five more yesterday. i had to lock penny in her kennel for fear they would take matters into their own, um, hands (waspy finger things?) and seek revenge. i wield a scary rainbow (or reef, i'm not picky) flipflop, but poor little penelope, lacking those all important opposable thumbs (and feet), hasn't got a chance. so, while she spent a large part of the afternoon in purgatory watching "princess diaries 2"*, i got creative. our cast iron fireplace front wasn't doing much of anything, except not giving me a heads-up on when suitors #1-5 came zipping out of the soot.** now, i took my idea for bee-proofing the fireplace/chimney/floo from a project mor did the other day: weather-proofing the hon's broken driver's side window; all i needed was the clear duct tape and two oversize kitchen trashbags. and voila!

please excuse the sticks, roll of trashbags, spade and long brown thing; there are just some places the duct tape was not so keen on attaching itself to, the jerk, so i had to improvise.
you know the most fun part about the whole thing? hearing the nasty buzzing buggers plead with the oh-so-strong costco trashbags to "let...buzz...us...buzzbuzz...through...buzzzzz." all to no avail, my fine phalanges-less friends. even if they did make it through i was waiting on the other side with my trusty left rainbow and glade berry burst air freshener. at least some of them died a smell-good death. even if it was slow. and painful. writhingly slow and painful. (i had to watch it all. to make sure they weren't teasing just to get at my puppy, you know.***)

*you're not the only one who enjoyed it, orlando. it's one of penny's favorites. that and "handy manny." she cannot get enough of his espaneesh accent.
**mor actually shopvac-ed the fireplace saturday. the fireplace and the cars and the garage and the...everything that couldn't get away from him.
***this was in no way as traumatizing as when i ran over a chipmunk and saw it spasming in the middle of the road behind me. i stopped a block later and threw up. my way of paying homage to dale. and acquiescing my unrelenting gag reflex.

and this little piggy went "wee wee wee wee wee, all the way to the trashcan in the sky"

hellO, pigs and ducky! this has been a long time coming, finding a replacement for penny's first ever and favorite toy: her squeaky pink piggy. she has loved this $2 made in china piece of plastic since her inception to our family almost two years ago. mor and i were helped along in this decision by penny herself. the other night she was showing piggy just how much she loved it--munching, chewing, squeaking, licking, slobbering, goobering all over it--when we noticed the squeaking suddenly stop. penny had eaten the squeaker. i didn't even know it was possible, but she sure showed me. the very next day i made a stop at the local animal ark to pick up her new toys. and she loves them just as much as she did her little piggy.

killer bees

and i'm not talkin' 'bout those of the wu-tang persuasion. they have invaded our home via the chimney flue. the cast iron front hasn't deterred them. neither has the death of many of their brothers and sisters who have come (into our home) before them. today alone we have squashed and swatted and smooshed 15. fif.teen! we had five swarming our ceiling fan lights at one time. so, even though it's about a gazillion (give or take) degrees outside, we're nice and toasty with our freshly lit fire inside. wish us luck as we try to burn out those little striped buggers. and if the flames don't get them then hopefully the bee trap on the front porch will lure them to their sticky death.

fancy footwork

tonight, while getting my nightly fix of "murder, she wrote," i was almost ALMOST impulsive enough to buy this:


i'm not sure if it was richard's charming striped booty shorts, his perfectly coiffed jheri curl perm or his prepubescent schoolgirl voice that started tugging at my phone-dialing finger; heck, it was probably all of the above along with wanting to support his cosmetic surgery addiction (i swear, he's NEVER botoxed). i love this little creepy man who skinnied up americans by putting totally groovy dance moves to the tune of "big girls don't cry." (oh the irony.) however, i am not quite on the qvc-order-by-tv bandwagon, so we will not be sweatin' to the oldies.



yet.

in completely unrelated news, i visited the girly-parts dr today, and got a really good giggle from this. enjoy.

shout out

i love this girl, and so should you.



(found this sample sticker on etsy.com because they're as crazy about schizz as everyone else!)

oh me, oh my

1. I love my name.
2. I love my sisters’ names.
3. It takes effort for me to write cursive.
4. My favorite color is usually blue, sometimes green.
5. I like little things and used to collect all sorts of miniatures. (I guess that explains why I like my husband so much.)
6. I would wear sweatpants all day everyday if I could.
7. My feet are always cold.
8. I have 2 freckles in my left eye. The optometrist used to think they were a form of cataract.
9. My stomach hurts 98% of the time.
10. I’ve never had braces.
11. Or worn glasses.
12. The smell of lilacs will always remind me of my mom’s house.
13. I don’t like painted toenails.
14. My favorite number is 10.
15. If I could only drink one beverage for the rest of my life I would choose milk.
16. I hate doing dishes, unless I’m angry or frustrated. (I don’t get it either.)
17. I like spicy food. (see 7)
18. I’m not photogenic.
19. I drink too much caffeine, mostly regular coke and mountain dew.
20. I’ve driven the same car since I got my license 10 years ago. It is still registered with Indiana plates, and I still have my Indiana driver’s license.
21. I’m obsessed with people’s names; I used to have a list of more than 200 names—first and middle—divided into "boys" and "girls" that I liked enough to name my own children.
22. One of those names was Rui.
23. I’ve worked at the same office for almost 4 years and have been given a real actual raise once.
24. I like tweezing my eyebrows.
25. I keep my fingernails short.
26. For an entire month during my first year of college, I survived on peanut butter sandwiches and Doritos. Because I WANTED to. (see 7)
27. I wear the same pieces of jewelry everyday: wedding rings, diamond necklace, diamond earrings, and skinny silver ring I got with my mom at a craft show for $5.
28. I’ve had that skinny silver ring longer than I’ve had any of my other jewelry.
29. In high school, hockey was my favorite sport.
30. I have a very sensitive sense of smell. It’s saved us from 2 carbon monoxide leaks at our current house.
31. My favorite Disney movie is "Bedknobs and Broomsticks."
32. My favorite flavor of Gatorade is lemon-lime. (see 7)
33. I lived by myself for a whole year and loved every minute of it.
34. I spend more money on books than I do clothes.
35. I’m an inch taller than my husband.
36. Dogs with long tails creep me out.
37. I think popcorn smells like sweaty feet, but I eat it anyway.
38. Every time I get my hair cut, I get told I have really healthy hair.
39. I know the movie "Clue" verbatim.
40. I hate the Denver Broncos.
41. I cannot fall asleep if I can feel any sort of breathing on my bare skin.
42. Every morning I wake up for work, the first thought that goes through my mind is "I don’t want to go to work today."
43. I like really hot showers.
44. I weighed 110lbs in high school. (see 7)
45. My husband and I were married in the Nauvoo Temple. I chose it because Matt Roush said he wouldn’t come if it were anywhere else. He passed away three months before I met Morgan.
46. I would rather not drive.
47. My all-time favorite television show is “Matlock.”
48. “Murder, She Wrote” is a close second.
49. “Law & Order” is a close third.
50. I don’t think Rachael Ray is as annoying as Sandra Lee, but I do think Sandra Lee has a better “story.”
51. I’ve never broken a bone.
52. Or had a cavity.
53. I used to be “in love with” a boy named Joaquin, who had really big thighs.
54. I still sleep with an old night shirt of my Grandma Connie’s; I call it my Silky.
55. I was the first person (besides his parents and the doctor) to hold Coop.
56. I don’t own an iPod.
57. I would rather not use the AC in the car if I can help it.
58. I don’t like chewing gum, and I can suck on the same piece of hard candy until it’s gone without ever biting it.
59. I hate the texture of coconut, mushrooms, shrimp and jello.
60. In elementary school, I wanted to be a marine biologist. In high school, I realized I am afraid of large bodies of water, especially ones of which I cannot see the bottom.
61. I have no desire to ever visit New Jersey.
62. I'm afraid of birds.
63. I hate the sound of people clipping their nails.
64. I’ve never been afraid of the dentist.
65. I can do a 1000 piece puzzle in a few hours, uninterrupted. When I would go to my Grandma Jeanne’s house after kindergarten, we would do puzzles together. Or make buckeye candies.
66. I’ve had a root canal and all four of my wisdom teeth removed. Without sedation or general anesthesia.
67. I was once told that I would be sexier if my name was Erica.
68. I love libraries and bookstores.
69. I cannot sleep with socks on.
70. I don’t like cars with leather interior. It’s too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter.
71. I like humidity.
72. I get my love of bottled coke from my Grandpa Curly.
73. I have to drink orange juice with spaghetti. (see 7)
74. I never remember to take pictures when I have the camera with me, but I never have the camera with me when I want to take pictures.
75. Our old neighbor Roger gave me my nickname because I grew a whole foot in one summer. My nieces and nephews refer to me by my nickname rather than my real name.
76. I rode a bike today—23 May 2008—for the first time in over 8 years.
77. Giraffes are my favorite zoo animals.
78. Standing in line at the grocery store behind a father and his 3 year old daughter I overheard her say, “Daddy, why’s that girl’s toes so long?” I was “that girl.”
79. I find 50Cent attractive.
80. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I look like Jodi Foster. I disagree.
81. I have a hard time pronouncing the word voila.
82. I like the name Mallory but would never name my daughter that. Mallory and Valeri? No thank you.
83. I want a Newfoundland. I want to name him Hank.
84. I own 3 Enrique Iglesias cds: 7, Escape and Enrique.
85. I wish I had more freckles on my nose. (I love the phrase “a smattering of freckles.”)
86. I don’t use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. I use it because it’s funny.
87. There is no better smell than the world after a rainstorm. Except maybe the smell of a newborn baby.
88. I have a palatal torus.
89. I have had someone named after me.
90. I love Tom Selleck and Sean Connery.
91. I don’t snore or grind my teeth or do anything else of note while I sleep.
92. The best thing in the world to eat is the very first spoonful of peanut butter after breaking the seal.
93. I listened to Simon & Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits album while I did homework in high school. Every time without fail.
94. My feet are small compared to how tall I am: size 7 1/2 : 5’ 10”
95. Flowers make me happy.
96. I just realized I like the name Ezra.
97. I cover my ears—not my eyes—during scary parts of movies; I can watch the scary stuff, but I cannot listen to the music leading up to the scary stuff.
98. I have an uncle whose middle name is Lester.
99. I hope my children have green eyes.
100. It took me four days to compile this list.

question of the day #3

who came up with the idea of women in the workplace? i wanna kick that bastard's A.

(notice the timestamp on this post and then take into acct that MY dr isn't even here today. awesome.)

mum's the word

and not just for today. i love my mom every. single. day. and two thousand times on sunday. (lucky her that mother's day falls on sundays every. single. year.) and i love her for two thousand different reasons, the most important of which being (a) instilling an unshakable love and appreciation for the gospel, and (b) giving me my first two best friends (who, incidentally, happen to be two of the best mothers also). so, even though i don't get to be there today to wish you a happy mother's day and hug you till my heart's content, know that i love you more than words can express. and thank you for being my mother.

happy mother's day shout-outs to all you moms, moms-to-be, moms-in-training, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, etc.

"for the hand that rocks the cradle - is the hand that rules the world." -- william ross wallace

question of the day #2

chubby hispanic kid: why your dog so cray-see?
moi: because she smells the tamales you're going to try to sell me.

borrrrring

nothing, i repeat n-o-t-h-i-n-g is happening to us lately. mor has started school and continues to work full-time. i have given up cleaning our house and pretend to not loathe working full-time. we have found and discarded two boyfriends for penny: an adorable white boxer (not really a boyfriend, but he was dang good looking) and a skinny red poodle (who had just been shaved in an awkward 'do with a stustache*). we are still enjoying our telly, one of us more than the other. ahem, hubs and his policeman shows. (i hate to admit that i actually don't dislike watching the playoffs, now that we've got the telly. i still cannot handle watching andrew zimmern eat fried squirrel balls in high-def though. just makes it even more disgusting.) it has been hot and sunny and breezy and cold and rainy and windy, and that was just today, and i hate it. pick one, weatherman, just one. for more than one day please. i picked up three books from the library on saturday and am reading one i own. 'cause i'm smart like that. the driver side window of the hon miraculously (read: hubs orders parts off the internet, takes apart entire car door, spends 2hrs wiring and rewiring and replacing window motor) now goes up AND down. we can finally go through drive-thrus again. after 3yrs of being forced to park and go inside arby's to order, we can order and eat INside our car now. (3yrs means mor has no real idea what to do with the hon anymore; he's not known her when she HASN'T been broken. oh the thrill.) we experienced pei wei for the first time last night. verdict? d-lish. and yum. i found work pants that actually fit well at, of all old lady places, ann taylor loft. (just kidding. i really like that place. it's where i found my dress for this girl's wedding next month too. my dress that mor haggled the countergirl into selling for $10 less than the sale price. i lub him, that hubs.) i got to visit with a girl i love dearly and have missed for a long time. our dog doesn't smell like her own bumoley anymores. she now sniffs of papaya and mango. and is currently dining on a ginormous marks-a-lot marker with a gel pen as an after-marker treat. there are four empty bottles of the mexicoke** scattered around our front room. (grossy-gross allen's sells them for $1 apiece, and i've never been one to deny drinkable sugar.) and lastly, our lives are not as boring as i thought at the onset of this here post. or i just rambled enough to make you forget that, yes, our lives really are that boring. you pick.

*another coopamism, like silkshake; just replace the first sound with an "m" to find the real word; i believe this pup's stustache is the only reason he was considered for the open position as penny's boyfriend (if you don't know why, see here)
**this is the REAL coke, legally smuggled across the border so coca-cola fiends such as myself have a REAL reason to get out of bed in the morning; i believe my beloved costco also sells this delightful treat every so often, you just have to be on the lookout for it

put me in coach

i just got off the phone with my mom, who told me a really funny story...
she went down to watch coop and ains so erica could take becks to his dr's appt this afternoon. as erica was headed out the door, she reminded my mom that ainsley needed to wear a helmet if she wanted to ride her trike. well, of course ainsley wanted to ride her trike, so my mom went on a hunt to find her bike helmet. she looked and looked. and looked. and couldn't find it anywhere. finally ainsley went up to her and coop's room and came down with a helmet. coop's football helmet to be exact. and that is what she wore to ride her trike.
sister, when you read this, please send pictures.

calling child services, child services please

i'm happy to announce that my sister's kids are keeping the indianapolis-area hospitals in bidness. first coop a year or so ago: broken ankle after jumping off a kitchen chair; soccer ball short-leg walking cast (or slwc for those of us familiar with the ortho world)*. then ainsley a couple weeks ago: remember? (plus her tonsillectomy and molluscums.) and now becks today: broken foot after falling off the edge of the sidewalk; blue slwc. (plus his poor eczema that takes over his little body every now and then.) i don't know many other 5-person families who visit the dr/er quite as often. way to go, wall family! i'm impressed.

*coop has had many other dr's visits over his five years; i'm just too lazy to list them all.

goats on ropes

amongst other things (the comcast offices, a mercedes-benz dealership) are what you can find in lovely lindon. we were just driving aimlessly last night (actually on our way to the target in af because i like it better and trying to avoid rush-hour traffic on the freeway) when we happened upon this most intriguing of sights. and not only were there two goats on ropes (not leashes), but they were in the front yard with kids playing with them. mind boggling. almost as mind boggling as the goat tied to a tree in the front yard of a million dollar home in alpine with nothing but a large plastic doghouse as refuge from all the questions of passersby. (what the @$%*& is a goat doing tied to a tree in the front yard of a million dollar home in alpine? who the @#$*& does that?)
on a brighter, less confusing note...we ate at a yummy thai place in af, thai village. the restaurant is very quaint. it's an old mansion off main st. all the bed/livingrooms have been converted into dining rooms. i got the spicy nooder wiv chicken. it was dericious. (i won't say the same for mor's masman curry; he got a couple wrong pieces of chicken. blech.) and i must confess, even though i'm not a water drinker, thai village is home to some of the best not-bottled water i've ever tasted. i would go back again simply to quench my thirst. ahhh...
in today's news...i should not be left to my own devices in the quilted bear. i walked around that silly craft store for over an hour today. picking things up, putting them down (not in their proper place, sorry), picking them back up, putting them back down and so on. i ended up with a couple cute tin tiles to hang in the boudoir, a hand-painted 8x10 red frame and two key hooks (on which to hang our keys, der). i then moseyed over to robert's. overpriced. end of story there. and then to seagull book or whatever church bookstore is next door to robert's. i grabbed a couple little books i've never been able to find at border's; they've got quite a nice selection for such a small store. (and i earned 170 points towards my next purchase, whatever that means.) cafe rio for lunch, "happy valley" at the in-process-of-being-renovated wynnsong, border's for shits and giggles, costco for churros, and finally best buy. to make a long story short--too late--we left our house today with delusions of grandeur, and returned the proud owners of a half-price 47" toshiba plasma. how the @#$*& did THAT happen???

question of the day

Q : what do you call four over-18yrs-old boys in cut-off shirts running four-across (that's side-by-side-by-side-by-side) on the 3ft wide sidewalk?

A : gay.

"i don't think i want to play golf anymore." - aew

today, my coopy turned 5. it was celebrated with a small family party of exchanging gifts, eating yummy cake and visits to the hospitals. (yes, plural.) after unwrapping his most favorite present ever--golf clubs--he did what any normal birthday boy (or girl) would do: took them for a test drive. a drive that apparently ainsley's adorably adorable little face got in the middle of. as coop was taking his first swing (because of course not-good things happen on every "first time" event), matty yelled at painy to move back so as to not take a whack to the face. well, she moved back. then moved back AGAIN as coop was mid-swing.

she took it right in the forehead. it dropped her, but she was up on her feet in no time flat. matty ran over to check her out and took her inside to wipe the blood off her face. that's when he saw the extent of her injuries. the impact of the swing had popped her open, all the way down to her little skull. after reassuring coop it wasn't his fault, erica, matty and pain were off to the closest hospital. (on the way there, ainsley was more worried that she wasn't buckled in than anything else. "but why am i not buckled? i need to be buckled!" if my sister has taught her kids one thing, it's car safety. coop and ains both got on me and mor about not getting buckled fast enough, those seatbelt nazis.) one ct scan, a trip in the ambulance resplendent with sirens blaring, a visit from the neurosurgeon and plastics doc, iv sedation, three rows of 60+ stitches, lots of apple juice, and a partridge in a pear tree later...ains is doing well with JUST a linear skull fracture and tiny intracranial bleed, not to mention a new i'm-the-little-sister scar. she gets to stay overnight in the peds unit for observation until sometime tomorrow.
coop--who, did i mention, is 5 yrs old today--has already been up to visit her, took her teeny hand in his after she was put back together and just kept saying "i'm sorry, ainsley. please get better. i'm so sorry." he's such a softy, it's probably better he hit her than the other way round. otherwise, erica and matty could have had a REAL mess (both literal and figurative) on their hands.

this is the picture mor took of painy right before we left yesterday. kind of ironic she's showing us how strong she is, isn't it?
keep her in your thoughts and prayers please. not that her appetite will return--she asked for a 'dilla as soon as she woke up from getting her stitches--but that she'll recover fully and fast from her humpty-dumpty ordeal.

conclude

we're here!!!
the eagle has landed. the chicken is in the pot. and all that rot. and we made it without incident (ie our luggage is in hand, penny is in one piece, and all flights were on time and relatively turbulence-free). phew.

my new favorite number

that's right, kids. 67 is my nuevo numero favorito. that was the high for today (and year so far) with cloudless blue skies and annoying birdies chirping their annoying little songs that didn't seem near as annoying as yesterday. i enjoyed the sunshine streaming through my crystal clear windows (the ones without the saran-wrap-like heat-trappers) and set to it. cleaning, that is. and laundry. and dishes. and...you name it, i pledge-d it, windex-ed it, soap scrub-ed it, tide- and downey-ed it. there is no better feeling than a clean house.

except--did i mention?--the 67degree weather.

continue

3 days!!!

top five - take 2

the 5 most amazing things i saw/heard today:
5. a really super cool (including body kit and spoiler) purple eclipse with personalized plate reading "poopie" - yeah, your car is just that, a poo pie
4. a book at borders entitled tales of a chinese grandmother, which made me think of this guy which reminded that he's getting married in august (hooray, ahmikelau!)
3. my reflection in the mirror of the outfit i changed into after work; black uggs, cutoff nike sweats, blue colts longsleeve, light blue zip-up hoodie, unbrushed ponytail bun (even mor commented, "nice all-day give-ups*")
tie for first. i'll let the public decide its favorite...
1. the words of a girl at my office "i had to smell his scrotum"
1. a durango that was riding my tail all down center st got pulled over by...ready for this?...the bike police! they were wearing fluorescent yellow vests and biking shorts and their bikes were equipped with a little police blinker light on the front, which they turned on as they pulled the poor girl over.

*this is what mor calls sweatpants, of any kind. it stems from the boys at work not wanting to get ready for the day after workouts. (i guess i was an all-day give-up kinda gal all through high school. and college. and still am on weekends. and after work. and...)

also, it was this girl's birthday yesterday. pop over and wish her a belated one.

commence

countdown to indiana...

8 days!!!

karma

so remember those two stinky, snorty, squatty pugs i told you mor and i rescued from certain death and animal-shelterness? yeah, well, guess who was caught red-handed doing a deuce on our front lawn today. answer: those two stinky, snorty, squatty pugs. the jerky owner and soccer ball-casted daughter were just out for a leisurely stroll this quiet sunday afternoon and happened to stop by to pay their respects, sort-of-speak. nice, huh? i'm half-tempted to enlist penny's help in an act of revenge. or maybe i'll seek out the girl i knew in high school who pooed in a brown paper lunch bag and smeared it all over her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend's windshield. i wonder what she's up to these days...

oh yeah it was maybe my birthday wednesday. thanks to all you well-wishers and gift-givers. (but mostly only to the gift-givers.)

good deed

so today, after skipping out on sunday school in lieu of allergies and rumbling fasting tummies, mor and i continued on our path of unrighteousness and headed to the grocery for eggs and juice. on our way back, we noticed a pair of dogs ambling across center street. in the snow. no human/owner in sight. being the dog-loving people we are, we pulled over, hauled the dogs (pugs, yuck) into the back of the sube and drove them to our house, hoping their plastic tags held some clue as to where they belonged. well, no names, no address, no home phone number. only a call-in center where the operator connects you to the pet owner. lucky for us, the pugs lived only a few blocks away. we bundled up ourselves, found some of penny's old leashes and began our trek through the cold, wet snow. it was like those stinky pugs knew exactly where they were going, all the way up to the front door of their house. we rang the doorbell, knocked, waited. finally, a little girl with a broken arm opened the door just enough to the let in the dogs. a forced "thank you" came from the dad at the kitchen table and that was that. no real gratitude. no "we're so happy you found them." no nothin'. sheesh. all we were left with was a stink-filled car, eight cold feet and hands, two runny noses and a partridge in a pear tree.
moral of the story: if you ever see two squatty pugs wandering the streets in your neighborhood, leave them be; their owners care about them about as much as teenage boys care about showering.

to: you and yours

happy easter, my

from: me and mine

saving the world one word at a time

here's to all you naysayers (matty and erica) of my incomparable skill of housing too much upi (= useless pieces of information). my pretty little head houses more than just work phone and fax numbers, names of random i-think-i-met-you-one-time-ten-years-ago people and simple 3-step 3-ingredient recipes. it also is the mecca of random vocab and fact. i have now found the best thing since sliced bread, a place that combines my tenacious retention skills with what everyone (except maybe miss em and ains, who ask for more baby dolls and nicer brothers) prays for at night (= world peace, der): www.freerice.com it is a nfp site that donates grains of rice to third-world countries based on how many words you define correctly. (don't worry too much; it's multiple choice.) i am so glad i have read books like the tail of emily windsnap...
kraken = sea monster
...dave barry and ridley pearson's peter and the starcatchers...
umbra = shadow
...and taking years upon years of spanish...
amative = loveable
...and reading this gal's blog...
omphaloskepsis = navel-gazing or as dictionary.com says
om·pha·lo·skep·sis /ˌɒmfəloʊˈskɛpsɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[om-fuh-loh-skep-sis] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA
Pronunciation –noun contemplation of one's navel as part of a mystical exercise.
(that last one was by far my very extreme favorite, and i plan to use it as often as possible in casual conversation even if it holds no relevance.)
anyway, go.
expand your vocabulary.
donate rice to hungry children.
be a better person today than you were yesterday.
and have fun while doing it.

the picture is of a fraction of the rice i donated tonight (in just 20 minutes); 2500 grains. sad to think that that isn't even a full portion for one adult (according to http://williambrookes.ethink.org.uk/2008/03/20/rice-the-final-frontier/). i think i've found a new meritorious (= worthwhile) hobby.

i'm it!

all thanks to amy lynn wall johnson. whelp. here goes it...
A-attached or single: attached
B-best friend: mor
C-cake or pie: chocolate cake with no icing hot out of the oven
D-day of choice: a day off work
E-essential item: wedding ring
F-favorite color: blue or green
G-gummi bears or worms: neither, chocolate please
H-hometown: muncie, in
I-indulgence(s): silkshakes (a la cooperdo)
J-january or july: july = real suntans
K-kids: someday and i think we'll name one jasper and one hadley
L-life is incomplete without: the gospel and mor (and penny)
M-marriage date: aug 10
N-number of siblings: 2, may and e
O-oranges or apples: apples, applesauce, apple juice
P-phobias or fears: phobias: birds, open water; fears: that maybe i can't have kids of my own
Q-quote(s): "Blessed are those who need no reasons other than their love for the Savior to keep his commandments." - james e faust
R-reason to smile: we're going home next month!!!
S-season: spring flowers and summer sunshine
T-tag five: no thanks
U-unknown fact about me: i cry every time i leave my family
V-vegetarian or oppressor of animals: i eats what i eats
W-worst habit: not answering my phone or listening to messages until days later
X-xrays or ultrasounds: depends on which i need
Y-your favorite food: entenmann's chocolate donuts (have i not mentioned this enough yet?)
Z-zodiac: aries