ah mike rau

this guy...

...oops, wrong side/end...

...there we go...anyway, he's leaving us. he's packing up and moving.

i'll miss you, mike! what's this town going to do without you?!

copycatting

i was just inspired (if you will) by bff forever kalli's latest post; she's signed her little domestic self up for quilting lessons. i was perusing the blog she linked to and found the cutest fabrics...




now i just have to find someone to quilt a blankie for me. any takers? fine. maybe when you're done with your class then, huh, kal? if not, i am not too proud to just cover up with a few square yds of plain fabric draped over one of our haggard down comfies. just you watch. i'm not scurred.
oh and also, this is what we got each other for christmas...

...and i love it!

put another candle on the cake

almost a fire hazard, this birthday of hubs'. the big 2-5. he's got the arthritis (wrist) to go along with old age, as well as the bad back (herniated disc aka "old man's disease"). and i believe i see the faint beginnings of a moustache (just to prove he can grow facial hair; i don't think it's aimed directly towards matty and jase, but maybe). he's already eaten his happy birthday cookies (the ginormous iced sugar cookies from p-town bakery) and chased them with half a gallon of milk (that appropriately has today as its expiration date). now, hims is just going to sit around and let me wait on him all day (more cookies? okay. scratch your back? okay. rub your feets? no way, fella). so pendango and i would like to wish our favorite 25yr old human and husband a happy day.
loving you, mor!

crushes

as we were sitting at dinner last night (ruby river, yum), our conversation somehow turned to girl- and man-crushes. the best thing about which is that there doesn't need to be rhyme or reason for the crush; it could just be that we love them for the characters they've played (big dave and dennis franz of "nypd blue" fame); or it could be that we love them AND the characters they've played (connie and sean connery--bond, james bond--and tom selleck--magnum p.i., not girls, i know); or it could be that we just love them in whatever capacity. i, myself, love amanda bynes (even if i have yet to purchase "sydney white" and was absolutely bored midway through "what a girl wants"). ina garten (barefoot contessa, der) is my newest girl-crush. i mean, how cool is she to have left a prestigious job at the white house to open her own high-end food shoppe. (it must be spelled that way, adds more flare and sophistication.) mor leans towards (surprise) brad pitt.
"you can't have a man-crush on pitt," i tell him.
"why not?" he asks incredulously.
"because everyone--man, woman and child--in the world has a crush of some kind of him." der.
"so?" he will never concede defeat.
that's when i switched gears to big dave's man-crush. we both got a good giggle out of that. (i still remember the story of big d seeing him in nyc or somewhere. you would have thought franz was heidi klum decked out in her bedazzled victoria's secret bra and panties. giddy as a schoolgirl on a snowday, he was.)
once our filet mignon--mine--and full rack o' ribs--mor's--arrived, we continued to nit-pick the brad pitt man-crush. i held my ground, and mor finally came out with it: matt leinart. that's his real man-crush. has been since the early usc days. i maintain that yes, leinart has everything that makes someone superficially attractive (ie good hair, pretty eyes, tan skin, height, athletic ability), but i don't think he is. weird, i know. especially since one of my girl-crushes is a chubby white hamptonite. (that would be ina. i covet her house. and her cooking skills.)
now, i'm going to take a stab at some other crushes...
big dave: larry bird (his favorite no. is even 33 in ode to larry)
connie: jessica fletcher (aka angela lansbury)
john: the hell's angels with ponytails
may: the disney princesses (all thanks to miss em's obsession) but mainly belle
jase: peyton manning
erica: hilary duff as lizzie mcguire and miss scarlet
matty: kirk herbstreit and david beckham
anyway, to each his own man-crush. i have to go. ina is preparing a weekend lunch of duck salad, blueberry crumb cake and chocolate sorbet.

only the good die young

if that's the case, i'll be more than happy to be bad. awful even. the worst you've ever seen.

bye, heath.

call me columbus

while perusing the mecca of online shopping (ie amazon.com) i discovered this little treasure; it made my heart skip a beat and my mind wander to long-time-gone days of 2hr lunches at home with my connie. i immediately added it to my birthday list. along with new track pants, the livestrong nikes, zen shorts, no more heartburn, a day off, world peace...i'm getting away from myself. (i really would like to have them all, but i understand the latter 3 aren't exactly things you can pick up from target.) so, have i built up the anticipation enough for you? are you ready to see what it is i just don't think i can make it through my 27th year without? drumroll please...

oh and these are the shoes my feet cannot wait to get into (size 8, if anyone needed to know)...

and the book my eyes long to read over and over and over again...

and while you're at it, add this one too...

wonder what else i'll find on amazon to add to my list...?

this just in

v hawley has been off the hooch for 5 ENTIRE WHOLE COMPLETE DAYS!!! give it up for v hawley! that's f.i.v.e. days with no coke, no mtn dew, no carbonation OR caffeine of any kind, which translates into f.i.v.e. days with less heartburn, less tummyache, less thinking about emergency gall bladder surgery. how 'bout it, folks, are you proud of her or what?!

thank you, thank you. i would like to take a moment to thank my upset stomach and possible ulcers and/or gastritis for spurring this boycott into action. i couldn't have done it without the help of my loving husband, who promised to ban all caffeine from his own diet (as long as i was around) and who also promised to get me my aciphex/prilosec/prevacid each night before tucking me into bed and reading me a bedtime story. (okay, not that last part so much, but a girl can dream.) my mom and her hand-me-down stomach issues for my tummyaches and self-diagnosing; my sisters and brothers-in-law for their undying if somewhat sarcastic and unsympathetic support; my dad for fronting the blood money. (okay, okay, just kidding there, too.) the drs at my office for allowing me to be seen during clinic hours and only charging my insurance for the visit. and last, but in no way least, my little frenny penny for snuggling up her stinky body next to me when she knows i don't feel well (but maybe when she just thinks i have a treat hidden in my hoodie pocket). thank you all, sincerely, from the bottom of my upset bloated tummy.

book reports - not just for grade school

last week...

this week...

next week...


book thief is one of the best books i've read in a long time. it's set in hitler's germany (i know, i hate that guy too) and follows the life of one little girl and her experiences with death. what i loved about this book is that it's told from death's perspective--very interesting if a bit hard to follow at first--and doesn't just foreshadow but blatantly tells you what is going to happen--infuriating at first (unlike my connie i hate to know the end before i get there) but in no way ruins the story. warning: i cried, full-on tears rolling down my cheeks cried. just ask the hubs.

kite runner is...interesting, thought-provoking. did those things, DO those things still happen in afghanistan? if yes, remind me to never EVER make travel plans to visit kabul. i won't lie, i was pissed at amir for most of the story. pissed enough that i had to put the book down a few times, picking it up only after cooling down and taking a breather. all in all, not bad. not my favorite, but not bad. (oh and ps i hate assef and the talibs too. even more than i hated amir, but not quite as much as i'll forever hate hitler.)

twelve mighty orphans is a book i'm very excited about. as many of you should know, i love sports: i love playing sports; i love watching sports; i love listening to knowledgeable people talk about sports; i love reading about sports. and this book seems promising. even phil singer wants to read it, and he's a smarty mcgoober (a compliment, phil, i promise). i will let you know the verdict on this when i'm finished, which, if this reading a book/week thing continues, will be next weekend.

happy reading!

addendum #2

titan has bigger breasticles than i do. and mine ain't that tiny neither.

addendum

okay, so stealth DOES compete in the first go 'round. too bad she loses.

the american dream

we're living it vicariously through chad and anthony, venus and toya. that's right, folks, we're watching the brand spankin' new "american gladiators." too bad the gladiators are not nearly as cool as they used to be: where are ice and nitro and turbo and storm? instead we have wolf (who, according to wikipedia goes by "hollywood" in real life, and also wears WAY too much eyeliner) and titan (who looks like a ginormous fag) and stealth (who doesn't participate at all in the inaugural episode)...? the only two new gladiators worthy of their title are hellga (with two 'l's, uh-huh) and fury (who is reminiscent of the old school gladiators, with her on-top-of-the-head ponytail and massive thighs). and, as much as i hate to sellout the hulk, i miss the old commentator, mike whatever his name was. but, no matter how much i long for how things used to be, if the eliminator is around at the end, i won't be disappointed.

i got a dollar, i got a dollar

we loved all of our presents this christmas; however, there is one that takes the cake. was it the season 1 dvd of "ugly betty?" no. was it the "murder, she wrote" puzzle? no. perhaps the yard o' beef? nope. are you ready? the award goes to...drumroll please...aunt donna and uncle phil for giving us the hardest-worked-for present this christmas: the a-maze-ing bank. and was it ever amazing! mor and i each spent about 20min working on it today; then loaned it to claire and ryan and tish and gloria, and we were all left empty-handed. until...

that little ball is lucky i didn't swear at it more than i did. filthy bugger.

and just when i was about to throw the damn box on the floor and smash it to smithereens with a pink-handled hammer...

hoorah! and yea! and thank you, thank you, thank you! definitely the most fun christmas gift yet. anyone care to challenge?

welcome back

to all my friends of the original "law & order" and to the new kids on the block, esp ada kotter. welcome back kotter. ha! (too bad those bastages at nbc won't let me borrow a picture to introduce you to everyone.) tune in wednesday nights.


(we're just catching up on our dvr, give me a break. i'll probably be talking about "ugly betty" tmrw or saturday. what.)

*it's really cutter, but the way they all say it sounds like kotter.

happy chrmithmath

(if anyone knows ainsley, you should appreciate the title of this post.)
i apologize to you, all my faithful readers, for being absent the latter portion of december. our quasi-legitimate internet (that we borrow from the neighbors downstairs in exchange for them borrowing our washer-dryer) went down without a fight and just decided to come back around. i wish i had a moving christmas story to share with all of you, but i don't. so i'll just throw out the highlights of our holiday adventures.
- leaving multiple hours after planned etd due to more problems with boiler (landlord decided to get a new one rather than "fix" the old one, something he should have done after last bout with co2)
- driving 9hrs down to la with a couple o' drugged-up in-heat mutts
- staying at zola's on an air mattress in a room that was either 35degrees or 75degrees (no happy medium, as mor would open the windows during the days zola left the heat off or wouldn't open the windows during the days zola left the heat on)
- buying a $50 bra because i'd left mine at home (except for a 2sizes too small sports bra)
- having glo make a special dish for me to take to the canals because she really cared that i hate ham (ps glo, it was delicious, that chicken and breading bake)
- walking around the canals and getting to see how into decorating rich people in the lbc are at christmastime and thinking how much my connie would have loved all the lights
- opening presents with all the hawleys (including almost-hawley brian and hawley-at-heart james) after the fiasco of claire handing gifts out until finding a couple with her name on them and quitting to unwrap
- eating fried chicken for breakfast two mornings in a row (a la roscoe's and a la gloria) and then eating fried chicken for a snack later on day #2 because i hadn't quite saturated my arteries enough
- visiting the poor puppies at the pasadena pound with katie (who would have taken all of them home with her and loved each of them like they were her favorite)
- hopping a ride in carol's brand new 328i hardtop and wondering how soon she would lose her license for reckless driving
- getting all the snowmen ornaments i'd longed for since their debut in october and dragging mor around with me to accomplish such a task (he even carried the bags--plural--without so much as a complaint)
- hitting up 2 hallmark stores in the same mall (that glendale galleria is giNORMous! so much so that they can have more than one of the same store)
- watching countless hours of "the first 48" while laying on said air mattress wanting SO badly to fall asleep but not being able to until i found out if pedro really was the one who shanked chocolate passion or if it was just a drug deal gone bad (ps it was pedro; i KNEW it)
- sitting in 2hrs of traffic and moving not even a mile outside of vegas
- wandering aimlessly around the primm outlet mall-mahal
- walking in our front door after being in the sube for 12hrs and realizing the inside of our house was actually warmer than it was outside (thank goodness for the new boiler!)
oh yeah and…
- finding out exactly how much christmas is about family and the spirit of the season