best-laid plans

you guys, i am for real having a baby. like, soon. like, sooner than i expected. i had my 38wk appt today. before he checked me, dr jones took a look at the notes from my last two appts. "come on, valeri, only a 1." i know, i told him. i need to get with the program if i'm going to have this little critter in time to claim him on this year's tax return. (i kid, but only kind of. $2500 is a good chunk of change we could most definitely use.) well, i surprised both of us; "you're a 3!" he said when he checked me. i was startled and told him not to joke like that with a pregnant lady. but, nope, i progressed faster than either of us thought i would. i asked if i should come see him next week, to which he replied, "go ahead and schedule to see me next thursday. if you haven't had this baby by then, we'll put you into labor." his tone implied he is NOT expecting to see me in his office next thursday. perhaps in the hospital but not the office. this is when the dread started. but...but...my mom isn't getting here until the 6th. you scheduled to induce me on the 7th. this is too soon. i'm not ready. we haven't even washed the baby clothes or picked up the carseat out of storage. we haven't picked out a name. and finn...he's still sick. he still needs me to take care of him. he's still too little. i couldn't even call my mom on the way home i was so distraught she might miss this baby; she might miss getting to stay with finners. i cried almost the entire 15min home. and i cried again when i finally had collected myself enough to call and tell her the "good" news. and she cried. in the middle hobby lobby. "but we planned..." stupid plans. the really important ones always seem to unravel at the last second. it's a good thing i've got the best sisters in the world. as meg perused the internet for flights, erica (and matty) made plans to get her here tomorrow if necessary. someone will be there, they told me. someone WILL be there. i cried again. and again when i closed the door after i read naptime stories with finners. and i'm still crying. (i'm afraid all this crying is going to make this kid come even sooner! sheesh. just another thing about which to worry.) i wish there was a way to focus on all of the amazing, wonderful things that are coming, but for right now, i think i'll keep on crying.

the holy grail

i'm feeling a bit smug tonight. the reason being...i found it and bought it. the unattainable. the unachievable. the holy grail. rip clutchgoneski. that's right, friendlies, the cars 2 diecast car that goes for upwards of $40 on ebay. i found it today at my beloved target for $1.99. i could have wept tears of joy and unbelief. unless you are morgan, or you understand my ocd about collections, i don't expect you to get it, but i had to let you in on my indiana jones moment of glory.