if it ain't at target, i don't need it

i seriously L.O.V.E. this place! in the last two weeks i have bought...
1. a shower curtain
2. potato chips (so i was a hungry shopper, what)
3. a white and black hoodie
4. a teal and blue hoodie (a gift from my valentine)
5. a bathroom rug (to match aforementioned shower curtain)
6. 'transformers' the movie (for my valentine, very romantical i know)
7. spray starch
8. vitamin water ($1 apiece, you cannot beat that)
9. a king-size milky way
10. & SO MUCH MORE!!!
do you see the variety that awaits you at this magnificent establishment? hon.est.ly. my heaven must have target or i might just refuse st peter's invitation. (not really, you understand. when i make it there, i'm busting through those pearly gates. i got some special peeps waiting on me. right, grandma connie? uncle gary? kid from "ladybugs"*?) but for real. i just cannot imagine needing anything that isn't stocked on the shelves at le target (con accento froggy). so next time you're in need--of anything; toilet paper, batteries, deodorant--feel free to shop between the hours of 10a and 10p. (otherwise, you will either be locked out or be threatened to be kicked out, take your pick.)

*was i the only one unaware that this kid is dead? was it because of the cross-dressing and having to act opposite rodney dangerfield? surprisingly not, according to wikipedia. (where would i be without you, wiki? in the dark, that's where.) i was devastated by the news. and grieved 4yrs too late.