on a personal note

i've been feeling really downtrodden lately. well, for the last year, since we've been trying to add to our family. i've watched lots of friends and acquaintances, even my sister who wasn't planning on more kids, get pregnant and have these soft, beautiful, pink babies. it is amazing what it will do to one's psyche, to desire another child more than anything else in the world and be denied that privilege, that blessing. month after month. after month. i felt like maybe it was my fault. or mor's fault (since i'm being completely honest here). is it because i enjoy my daily mtn dew? or because mor has been downing monster energy drinks to help him stay awake after hours at work and then hours of studying? am i eating too much protein? not enough? too many sweets and treats? not enough green and yellow veggies? is 7hrs of sleep not enough if it doesn't fall between 10p & 6a? why is it just.
not.
happening?
and then it hit me...i needed to hear from my heavenly father; i needed him to comfort me. so, i asked mor for a priesthood blessing. and it was beautiful. i immediately knew that he hadn't forsaken me or forgotten me; he hadn't been deaf to my prayers and pleads. he knows me. he LOVES me. he reminded me that ALL things are done in HIS time. he calmed my fears even if he didn't specifically answer my questions. and i'm finally at peace with what's been happening, or not happening, every 28 days. because i know his plan for me is so much bigger, so much better than i could ever possibly imagine.