(just so you don't get the wrong idea, this isn't something i want to talk about. just ask mor. however, this is something i need to get out. this means i won't be taking sympathy calls or texts. because this ISN'T something i want to TALK about.)
hey guess what...i'm NOT pregnant. (don't you love the tone of this pity party so far? i know, right. you're SOOO happy you stopped by. i won't blame you if you don't stick around. i'd get the frick outta here if i could.) now, in some instances, this would be great news; in MY particular case : NOT great news. allow me to clarify (is that necessary? maybe for a couple of you? okay) : i would like to be pregnant. and not just because i'm REALLY TIRED of people TELLING me it's time for another one. thank you for assuming that it's by choice. each time i hear that, my uterus shrivels up a tiny bit. (it's practically microscopic at this point. perhaps that's our problem!)
honestly though (have you doubted my honesty in this post?) i want to be pregnant. more than anything in the world i want to be pregnant. i want mor to be a daddy again. (he's a great daddy. have i said that before? he's fantastic.) i want to share finn with a little brother or sister. do you know what an amazing big brother he'll be? i do. a kind, gentle, loving big brother. it makes my heart hurt. it aches in its yearning for a new baby. a strong, healthy, beautiful new baby. to snuggle and hug and kiss and sing silly songs to and rock to sleep. to feel their sweet little breaths and touch their soft pink skin. to love immensely and immeasurably. i've asked for as much before. is it too much to ask for again?
I know how you feel. Its hard when you see the "negative" sign on the stick- especially when you're excited and hopeful...Im sorry! I feel your pain.
ReplyDeletewell i care to share. I'm glad you openly shared this. I know how hard it is for you to share personal information. I to know how hard it is for people to ask "where's baby number 2" and there's just no baby anytime soon. Good news is, you have Finn, so you know it can happen again. I always was so greatful I had Shaylee to cry on. It so will happeen girl! text anytime!!!!!
ReplyDeletei love you. your cup will runneth over again. i promise.
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry. i have perfected the art of that pity party. come join me and the mint chocolate chip. we'll let the rugrats play.
ReplyDelete