me vs the hon

i ventured to the library today to collect me some books. since doing anything besides sitting in the recliner or lounging on the couch is too much for me these days, my literary intake has increased dramatically. now, i'm a lover of books: i love the feel of them, the smell of them, the words and ideas encased in them. so, why is it that the last two times i've parked my little hon between the white lines at the library has she failed to start when the key is turned in the ignition? huh? why? i ask you. she just got a new battery not even three months ago; her oil is so fresh and so clean clean; her tank is full of holiday-flavored petrol; her interior spotless and smelling of spiced pumpkin. i. don't. get it. what does she possibly have against the library? i spend a tremendous more amount of time with her than with my beloved libros. you'd think she'd give me a break. but, no. being pregnant is no reason for her to not betray me. if anything, it gives her that much more satisfaction that i have to sit my fat arse in the front seat instead of just leaving her there and walking home. what a jerk you are, hon. i've given you the best years of my life and this is how you repay me? you better get your act together before this baby comes along.
or.
else.